March 12, 2021. As I currently am sitting on my desk at the comfort of home, working through the design of a 30,000 SF worth of business incubator-meets-co-living interiors project, I am still in much awe of how fast, yet how slow time has passed. Today marks exactly 1 year since the world that we know has been transformed by COVID-19 pandemic, for better or for worse. The following post is a personal, short contemplative narrative of what I’ve learned, experienced, and evolved from this global collective suffering, yet at the same time, hopes and dreams for post-pandemic life.
Looking back at December 2019, never in my wildest dreams I would have imagined that what I watched the night before my flight to Jakarta, Indonesia (it was Netflix’s Explained series about predicting the next pandemic) was brewing in one part of the globe. As the documentary meticulously covers the SARS epidemic and what society could have learned from it, I was struck with levels of fear and confusion at the same time, wondering if my generation would get the chance to suffer something of similar scale throughout our lifetime. Life seemed incredibly normal over the next few weeks - I had my annual vacation trip to my home country of Indonesia, and our family had the most wonderful time exploring Japan together over the holidays as well as spending some quality time back in Jakarta with longtime friends. While it was not widely known, my closest circle was actually aware of my plan on relocating back to the region, and as I took a flight back to Boston, I knew I will be back soon, while working on several employment offers on the background.
This was my last desk setup before everybody was forced to shut computers down and leave the building immediately.
Fast forward three months later, I was sitting on my office desk - two large cups of iced coffee, stacks of ARCH E-sized papers piling with sketches, Revit in full working mode with BTS’ Map of The Soul:7 playing on repeat. Our team had been working on a very significant project - which will eventually change Boston’s skyline. At that point, Boston had recorded several positive cases of COVID-19, but the buzz was still relatively low. There had been some conversations going around the office - people with concerns on how bad this was going to be, and whether we should start wearing masks at the office (it was still an incredibly debatable thing to do.) As I periodically glanced over my phone , I received a text on Wednesday afternoon from a friend that Harvard was currently sealing off few blocks of their campus area, as a serious outbreak from the now infamous Biogen Conference was reported and several people attending the event were now currently being hunted down to be immediately isolated. From that point onward, I knew things are going to be pretty bad.
A few hours later, as our team was getting ready to spend the night and work through each floor design one by one, our principal sprinted down to our workspace, his face showing signs of concern. “Our office will be closed Friday and Monday for now. We don’t know for sure if we’re going to come back Tuesday. Pack your bags and go home. Be safe. You need to leave.” It certainly threw everybody into a frenzy. I was lucky enough to secure a laptop from the office, as I have been working at least 10 hours a day over the past month or two. Everything felt like a blur - people scrambled and left work, and we never really had a proper ‘goodbye’, thinking we will reconvene again early next week. That, eventually, never happened.
Say hello to my home base, 365 days in and counting!
The next few months introduced me to series of events I would never have imagined, in my wildest dreams, to have happened on such proximity from one to the other. Within weeks, I lost the job offer I have been fighting for back in Southeast Asia, lost a great number of esteemed colleagues, suffered anxiety over job security like never before, and to top it all, lost my grandmother whom I promised to see her again on my next trip to Indonesia (she did not pass away because of COVID, but the pain is as hurtful - I could not go back to Jakarta to pay my final tribute to her.) In a flick of a finger, life was suddenly turned upside down, and immediately restricted to one Zoom call after another. To say the transition was brutal is an understatement - first few weeks were filled with a deluge of rollercoaster emotions, anger, confusion, and guilt. I felt like a hamster inside ball, with repeated daily tasks and little hope on how things will eventually take a turn. It was frustrating because I’ve been building my next chapter of both professional and personal life over the past year, only to have it taken away not because of my competence, but because of unforeseen circumstances. It rendered me powerless, and I was uncertain of what could be done to reverse the outcome.
With the help of families, friends and new hobby pursuits, I began to slowly get out of my own head and eliminate unrealistic fears and anxieties. Working from home has reminded me the simple pleasure I used to proudly avoid: taking "real” lunch breaks and prepping my own meals, taking short afternoon walks, and starting a new, still ongoing project of sketching buildings & interiors. I was able to spend more quality time with my partner, as well as working on some fun side projects outside of work related to community service. Eventually, I came to a realization that while I was busy chasing dreams and racing against the clouds -sometimes the greatest impacts happen at those closest to you. It’s not always about the scale - it’s the real changes to your immediate surroundings. Nevertheless, I was reminded to be kinder to myself - that one person alone cannot solve all problems in the world, but one can always make a change in their own unique ways to its closest circles, together as a community.
A famous quote says that light will only shine the brightest when it’s darkest. I can now humbly say that such belief could not be more well spoken. Fast forward today, what has been a long and difficult year have blessed me with many, many valuable life lessons that I will continue to bring through my next chapter. The pandemic has taught me to be resilient - by embracing that life will never always be linear. We grow through the ups and downs - and to always face them with integrity and sprinkles of good humor. It has also taught me to cherish those who loves me most - my support system: families, (now) fiance, and amazing, talented friends. No job is worth sacrificing these individuals who made me who I am today.
At work, I learned to take chances, but at the same time be humbled with opportunities presented - that there are always something to be learned on each project, each conversation with such talented colleagues, and to always, always exercise respect and compassion in every single project we do. The pandemic has reassured my choice as an Interior Designer that our role in the society goes beyond making spaces look beautiful - few jobs have the opportunity to create such impact in various aspects of people’s lives, ranging from overall wellbeing to community empowerment, through strategic decisions on how the built environment can support lives and serve as a purpose in society.
As I patiently wait for my turn to get a vaccine in the next month or two, I remain hopeful for a transformed life post-pandemic. While the way we live and work may never be the same again - I hope we emerge as evolved, kind individuals who never forget that we are always part of a bigger force, and that each of us can play a part to make our immediate communities a much better, safer, and socially just to be in.
-AK